Real Acceptance of Stuttering

Acceptance Is the Same Height as A Human Being

Basic acceptance of reality

•      Sun rises in the East

•      Life is challenging for everyone

•      We are by nature fallible, limited, non-perfectible

•      We cannot make demands on universe, others, and even ourselves and expect that these demands will be fulfilled

•      But we can strongly desire certain goals and in most probability achieve them or come close

Acceptance of reality about stuttering

•      Right now you stutter the way you stutter right now; acknowledge it

•      You can’t demand it to change, but you can strongly desire it to change and work towards changing it

•      You can almost instantly realize that stuttering is not awful: 1) it does not cause unbearable pain, 2) you can still enjoy many, many other things

•      You can decide not to beat upon yourself (deprecate yourself) for stuttering

•      You can think hard and realize that all people have equal worth in the eyes of the universe (we all are born, live, and die).

•      Stuttering can’t make you less worthwhile.

•      There is no law in the universe that you should not stutter.

•      Stuttering causes some discomfort-but you can stand it: you have stood it so far

•      In time you can minimize stuttering severity and frequency, but there is no guarantee that you will totally eliminate it.

Acceptance of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) ideas about stuttering

•      Stuttering probably has genetic component and a learned component

•      With effort and time the learned part: the forcing, struggling, hard contact blocks, and elongations can be minimized

•      With effort and time feelings of inferiority, shame, anxiety, guilt, time urgency, low tolerance of frustration and discomfort, anger at self or others, and the feelings of helplessness/hopelessness, and the avoidances can be radically cut back

•      The accessory (secondary) behaviors can be practically eliminated.                                   

Acceptance That You Have a Choice

•      You have a choice whether to work on your speech to minimize struggle and unhealthy negative emotions or do nothing.

•      You have a choice which approach to use.

•      Not learning about the different approaches and not using blood, sweat, and tears to apply a new approach in your self-therapy (if your present one is not working) is a choice. Not doing anything is a choice to remain in the same state of stuttering. You have a right to do so. YOU can live a good life, whether you stutter or not.

Summarizing Acceptance

•      Don’t demonize stuttering

•      Don’t awfulize it

•      Don’t pull off an “I-can’t-stand-it”

•      Don’t deprecate or down yourself because of stuttering

•      Stuttering does not make you a child of a lesser god

•      Don’t trivialize it

•      Accept that stuttering does have its inconveniences

•      Humanize stuttering

•      Learn to live with it in daily life until you decide to do something about it

Acknowledge and Learn to Accept Our Relationship to Others

•      People Who Stutter (PWS) have a need to be accepted by others

•      See this need for what it is-a strong desire that we turned into a need

•      Understand that we can turn it back into being only a strong desire to be accepted

•      Work relentlessly until it only is a desire to be accepted

•      We are more sensitive to others’ opinions especially teasing and bullying

•      Accept that there will be unpleasant people around

•      But we can toughen ourselves

•      We can call on our resiliency

•      There are some practical drawbacks to stuttering, some discomforts, some frustrations

•      Learn to live with it in daily life until you decide to do something about it

Final Words: Accept Yourself Unconditionally

•      Don’t fall for conditional self-esteem, don’t say “I can esteem myself because I can do this or do that, have this or that, am liked by this or that”

•      No matter how you fail understand, you can still love yourself

•      We are by nature fallible, limited, non-perfectible

•      We cannot make demands on universe, others, and even ourselves

•      We can choose to work diligently to recover from stuttering